And I have no idea how to deal with it.
Because this isn’t the kind of season where you can see it in the forecast, or mark the calendar with the changing colours…
It’s invisible.
Hidden.
Secret.
Unimportant.
At least, to everyone but us.
But I know it’s there, because I can feel it. And he can see it. And when we least expect it, it comes crawling out. For no reason.
Never for a reason.
And how can you explain when you feel so full of joy… yet so quickly frustrated. Hurt. Alone. Misunderstood. Angry. Left out.
All at once.
And the only thing that seems to work is hugs and “I love you’s” and daydreams about the future.
And bedtime prayers. Always, the bedtime prayers.
Because as long as I’m here, and he’s here, and we’re together, the Real Joy is still growing underneath. Inside. Hearts beating faster. Stronger.
And God is with us.
Oh, how I feel He is with us.
No matter how the rest of the world makes me feel.
No matter how many people say it’s normal, and move on.
No matter how much the Lies make me feel insignificant.
I know… ‘Tis only a season.
