Lisa Kaastra

The second they placed you on my chest, Time Stopped, and the Whole World Changed. I’m sure of it.

In these last 365 days, there are so many things I want to hold onto forever, and yet so many times I want to forget. Does that make any sense? Can love push the away nightmares and only choose the memories that matter?

You’ve learned to roll and walk and crawl… I’ve learned to watch us both step up and fall down.

You’ve learned to point and laugh and dance… I’ve learned to sway and move to the seasons.

You’ve learned to hug and kiss and touch gently… I’ve learned to hold you tight when there’s nothing else to do.

Yet through all of these changes, you still can’t stop laughing and squealing at the cats… and I can’t stop kissing your belly and toes.

You’ll keep on running and hopping and touching noses… and I’ll keep on watching you learn, and seeing us move.

This hasn’t been just one year of watching you grow; it’s been one year of going through all of the growth pains and memorable milestones together. And I’m praying that there are so many more.

My daughter, you were the best gift we ever received, and you’ve brought us closer together with every day.  You’ve helped us come to understand just a little bit more about Him, and just how Love works.

Because the idea of someone being so dependent on you is the scariest, most vulnerable emotion to ever experience – especially when feeling so completely under-qualified and inexperienced.

I’ve never felt like I messed up so much, or wondered “why” so many times. And it hurt like hell, because all I wanted to do was show you love in the best way possible…

And now, it’s your first birthday and this day is special, because you are Blessed. But Baby Girl, it’s not because you’re our first, or because you’re beautiful, smart, or extremely passionate about Moving Very Fast.

It’s because you were created by a Father whose love knows no bounds. Because He has a plan that is messy, and beautiful, and full of bends and trust falls and mountains… and the Most Indescribable View of Grace that you will ever lay eyes on.

All so that He could love us all the more.

Remember that: You are His, and for that, you are Blessed. It took nothing more. No matter what you do or don’t do, no matter how many times you need to “Try Again” or “Look Further”. Just keep Growing with Him and I promise, every birthday will be a True Celebration.

You are His desire, as much as you are ours, and His heart flows out from your laughter. Can you feel it?

I can.

That Grace – that Love – is what has gotten us this far.

So may you be the lioness that you were called to be – strong in His name, and always thirsting for more. May you never stop learning and growing and seeking His Voice above all of the rest. And may you never forget who you are, under Grace.

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl. We love you so much.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and our heart will surely be wrung and possibly broken” – C S Lewis