How University Prepared Me to Be a Mom

I’m pretty sure that it’s a requirement to look back on your liberal arts degree and wonder how on earth it was supposed to prepare you for “the Real World”… particularly those with English and History majors.

But in the last 6 months, it’s suddenly become very clear to me – it turns out my 5 years in post-secondary attributed to more than a BA, BEd, (and MRS) degree. Unbeknownst to my 18 year old self – I was actually in training for first-time “Mommy” courses.

Consider the parallels:

  1. 24/7 Snacking Vs. 3 Course Meals. Sometimes it’s because bowls of cereal and slurpees are more affordable than beef and potatoes. Sometimes it’s because anything that takes longer than 7 minutes to prepare is a dine-in luxury. And dishes? Well who would wash them…?
  2. The Coffee Bar Never Closes. 7-11 Espresso or Starbucks Decaf, it’s the addiction that matters, and gets me through the day. Or night.
  3. Queen of Cat Naps. You mean I have a full 20 minutes where I don’t need to be anywhere, or tend to anyone? Thank Goodness, and Good Night.
  4. The Multi-purpose Room. Where the bed becomes the table and the clothes are in the kitchen, and there are snacks on the bathroom counter, but the bed quilt is on the living room couch.
  5. Sweat pants and Top Knots. Or leggings. Anything else is dressing up and calls for an Instagram photo.
  6. Social Media = Social Life. Facebook groups. Instagram. Blogging. Twitter. Time is limited but I’ll spend 90% of it connecting via screen when I should be doing something else.
  7. Nighttime Sleep is Over-Rated. See #3.
  8. The Art (Attempt) of Multi-Tasking. Writing papers + sitting in class + texting +playing solitaire = Nursing + Booking doctors’ appointments + texting + watching Netflix.
  9. Showers are Important. To wake me up, clean up the puke, and hide away from the realities of Life. I’ll take them whenever I can.
  10. The Incredible Ability to Function Without Understanding. It doesn’t matter if I have no idea what the Philosopher professor just said or if I put my hair dryer in the refrigerator. The point is that I arrived only 15 minutes late, and my clothes are clean and semi-wrinkle free.

I guess government loans and two parchment papers paid off after all.

Thanks for the lessons, dear Alma Mater, you taught me well.


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