Some stories are painful and beautiful, all at once. After all, that’s how mountains move.
Last May, I faced the end of a job contract, a painful monthly cycle, and yet another birthday marking one more month on the calendar spent wishing for things that weren’t. And it was very hard not to be afraid.
Even though I know so many hearts who have yearned for much longer, I felt truly lost, and so very, very hurt. So I cried, and I prayed, and I wrote:
May 9, 2016
Dear Baby,
It’s been a tough couple of days.
In MY plans, you’d already be on your way, if not already here.
In MY plans, this would have been a great month to share the news.
In MY plans, this would have been a great year for you to grow.
And on most days, I realize the Truth – that my plans are never the best plans. But on days like today, I’m in constant prayer, because I fear that the loss of my plans… means the loss of you.
It’s okay to be afraid, Baby. But it’s not okay to let that fear overcome you. I need to let it go. I need to bathe in God’s promises.
You are one of my heart’s desires, Little One. And you will come at the absolute perfect time. And you will be so very, very loved.
As you already are.
“Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to Him. Trust Him, and He will help you… Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act.” – Psalm 37: 4-5, 7
One month later, on Father’s Day, I shared the news with my husband that he was going to be a Daddy.
On February 17, 2017, our Baby Girl was born – bright eyed, healthy, and beautiful.
Dear Baby, never stop believing in miracles.
