I Thank God For Fear

It’s taken me a long time to say those words. Even now, they start to make me shiver a little, just thinking those thoughts. Am I ready for this?

My journals for the last 15 years are full of so many hopes and dreams, but they’re fluffed up in between the multiple fears that I’ve had while going through different stages of my life. From junior high awkwardness to college relationships to wedding preparations – it’s all there in black in white, baring the truth of how I really feel, before no one but God. Some are secret, slithering their way into moments of every day when I least expect them. Others stare me in the face of reality, while I attempt to ignore them and push them out of every conversation. Still others take root early, and grow silently, until I realize I’ve based so many decisions in my life on the fear of those fears coming true.

And now preparing to become a mother has placed fears before me I never dared to imagine, fears I know I can’t control on my own.

Yes, fears I know I can’t control on my own.

FEAR does more than simply “make you stronger”.

FEAR makes us lean on Him when we finally realize we can’t do it ourselves.

FEAR cautions us of our mortality, and grows our humility.

FEAR teaches us to reach for the sky while reminding us that we were made from the ground… and that we need God to help us fly and “land amongst the stars”.

It should never be allowed to paralyze us, or break us down.

It should never be ignored, or underestimated in its power.

Yet if our fears are covered by faith, they keep us working towards our dreams, to discover what is truly the hunger of our hearts – separating the heedless wishes from the deepest desires.

Our fears will make us question our passions and decide if they’re worth it. Because when you realize what really matters, they will cause you to hold on so tight, you’ll never let go, for any nightmare in this world or the next…

Because fears emphasize that it IS impossible on our own. Dreams don’t come true just because you wish them, or because you worked hard enough, made the right choices, or put in a good effort.

And if those dreams seem just out of reach, just impossible enough, then they might just be the perfect opportunity for God to show you what He can do –

And change that Fear, into Faith.




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