My year of Hiatus is almost up.
At least, that’s what my unknown future is telling me. What my bank account is telling me. What my current career options are telling me.
And that’s scary.
Because this has been such a beautiful collection of days, strung together with free time, learning, games, and love. And I don’t want to give it up.
When I found out that my present job could not be extended beyond this school year, it was like a cord snapped inside of me. “Play time over. Roll up your sleeves. Get back to work. Real work.”
But every time I’ve tried to line something up for next year… the door quickly closes. Everything is going so fast that I can’t tell which of my emotions is in control, so I try to write my lists, make my plans, set up my priorities – like that last night of vacation, when your mind starts to wander back to the Real World that awaits you at home…
And then He came to me in Leviticus, of all places. Right there between the amount of toggles on a priest’s cloak and the accepted ways to treat your slaves. Before I even noticed it, He took my words and changed them around.
This isn’t a year of Hiatus. This isn’t about taking a break from the busy, full-time life of an early-career-teacher trying to balance everything. This is the Year of Jubilee – And it’s not over yet.
You may be familiar with the story: After six years of planting and harvesting, the Israelites were to let their land rest for an entire year. No planting, no pruning, no planned out harvest. Whatever came up naturally could be used, but otherwise, no-go.
“Then what will we eat for that year?” the Israelites asked.
I could hear myself echo. “Yeah, what will we eat?”
Then comes the cool part.
God goes on to explain that He will bless them with such a bountiful harvest in the sixth year, that they will have enough to last the entire seventh year. In fact, even while they are planting the seeds in the eighth year, and up until the harvest before the ninth year, they will still have enough.
These past few weeks, I’ve felt my first feelings of regret about this year. It’s as though I’m watching everyone around me begin to reap in the harvest, and I have nothing to show for it. All I keep thinking is, “I could’ve had more. I could’ve been more. I could’ve done more…” But I didn’t. And I’m constantly fighting the battle to be okay with that, frustrated with my own human-ness to desire more, and continuously seek affirmation from my Father.
And yet, this year was supposed to be about more than that. To be set apart. Focused on higher priorities. Holy.
Meanwhile, my mind is already on Year 8 – I’m looking ahead, trying to get an early start. But nothing has happened yet, and I let next year’s worries creep into this year’s joy. But while God has said Yes, go ahead and plant your seed… He also said, Remember, I have given you enough to provide for the whole year, and the next, even into the 9th year.
“Because Lisa, this is the Year of Jubilee.
… And it’s not over yet.”