Transitional August Goulash

It’s been awhile.

Somehow, between moving boxes and Oklahoma weddings, I seemed to have lost August – and I’ve hardly anytime to pull in a month of Sundays, look back on the bumps and the slides, and throw in a mishmash for the memories; a hearty dish for the soul. And now, it’s finally time to put this pot of victuals together.

Warning: Do not mistake the following recipe as “easy” or “simple” – the overall process is long, somewhat tedious, yet with many ups and downs. It is challenging, with several new and fast-paced directions… but the final result is worth it.

Prep Time: 6 months Cook Time: 1 month Serves: 2-6 (including animals)


15 Moving Boxes

2 1/2 Airplanes

Sprinkle of visits with family and friends

4 Holstein calves

2 Handfuls of Family photos

1 Glass Wedding Chapel

1 cup of Oklahoma humidity

Several country campfires

1 Cottage in the trees


Before beginning, pray continuously, take in His Word consistently, and trust unconditionally. A lack of preparation may lead to impatience and over-flavouring.


1.     Move to Camrose

One week before officially “moving camp” to Camrose, pack up all boxes and furniture and ship north via horse trailer. In the week following, camp out in your apartment, breathing in excessive amounts of cleaning products and vinegar, and scrubbing the scum from every inch of Suite 310. Remember to step outside for occasional spurts of fresh air – it is a gift to the lungs, and sweet scent to the nose…

2.     Visit Ontario

Spend only one night in your new “home” before visiting family roots in Huron County, Ontario. Make it a whirlwind of 5 days, with a rather vigorous mix of family visits, niece and nephew hugs and kisses, an afternoon swimming. Over-mixing may result in one rather uncalled-for sick day with the flu.

3.     Add the Ninja Turtles

Increase the family count by 4, adopting male Holstein calves from a neighbouring Hutterite colony. Choose hefty, healthy, and photo-friendly boys who are quick to call you to breakfast each morning at 7AM (or sooner). Providing names leads to a strong, lasting rapport. In this instance, Michelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo, and Raphael have been used. Placing them within view of a living room window not only adds to the landscape, but also allows you to hear them more clearly, and take in their natural aroma.

4.     Transition to the Cottage in the Trees

Taking your time, slowly transition into the new “cottage” amongst the trees, previously prepared with foxes, skunks, squirrels, and the aforementioned cattle, in the corner of the in-law’s acreage. Begin with the boxes and furniture until all you have to do is top with curtains and a corner chair. Paint is optional but provides a more personal flair. Plumbing, electricity, and gas lines should be brought in one at a time, going back and forth between the plumber and the electrician over an approximate 2 week period until you are left with the most enjoyable hot shower imaginable. This process should cover a variety of house temperatures beginning with 35+ and ending with a slight cooling period.

5.     Family Visits

Invite parents from Ontario to stop by during their road trip vacation. This is a great time to show off your progress over cups of coffee and games of Qwirkle while the dish cools. Fold in lighthearted meals and museum stops as a top layer.

6.     Owasso Oklahoma

Spend a few busy days in the wet and wild climate of Oklahoma to witness and celebrate the marriage of a brother-in-law and his young bride. Take this cup of humidity with caution, and rinse thoroughly with cool water before enjoying the ceremony in a glass chapel decorated with God’s natural handiwork. Tornadoes are not currently in season, but can add excitement when necessary.

7.     Mix together

Fast, furious, twister-like final mixing. Toss in Californian friends and a What About Bob? DVD. Do not be afraid to over mix.

8.     Rest.

Finish with a morning coffee, classic novel, and notebook with an excess of pens – just the final savoring necessary to make your August Goulash complete. The rest is simply to enjoy the variant palate of flavours steeped in beef, country air, and Kosher salt as needed.

Per Serving: Lessons Learned:100g; Stress: 50 g; Encouragement: 200g

Remember, His timing is everything.

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